Random Ramblings » mind

Helium

rozm!chelle — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 16:20:24 +0000

I’m floating as I breathe you in, your golden air is premium
I rise in my delirium, so high off your sweet helium

No ecstasy or opium, my veins do not have dope in them
To find what has me so high strung: my lungs, you’d have to open them
You kiss my lips, you stroke my neck and I can only hope what’s next
You must have had some potion sent to make your kiss a potent blend

You have me dipped in heavy cream, too gladly stripped from every seam
You touch me in this meddled dream; my blood ripples like pebbled streams
My heart thumps with unsteady beats, hot underneath these heavy sheets
I try to count so many sheep and still you just won’t let me sleep

These shooting stars keep whizzing by, my voice turns into whispered sighs
Sweet dreams float by as missiles fly through broken glass from crystal skies
While diamond knives from blizzards try to wake me from my dizzy high,
I ride jet streams that dip and rise and have wet dreams with glistening eyes

I never knew your aura is so infinite, so bottomless
Not even Kirk or Spock would miss a chance to fly this rocket ship
You find just one free spot to kiss and send my soul to cosmic bliss
I don’t want you to stop, but shit…your touch is my apocalypse

I cruise when you are having me and lose all sense of gravity
If only we moved faster, we could live in immortality
As we explore new galaxies, we set our anti-matter free
It feels so right, it has to be…but just how real can Saturn be?

I’m putting up a dreary fight; even dull stars can seem so bright
You’re great, but see I fear this might just be another steamy night
Since chasing you must feel just like I’m racing ‘gainst the speed of light
And catching up would be so nice but that would be too easy, right?

I’m hoping that you’ll be the one, and one day I might be your sun…
I rise in my delirium, still high off your sweet helium

inner conversations: part three

rozm!chelle — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 01:36:00 +0000

mind: Heart?
heart: …
mind: …I presume you aren’t speaking to me today.
heart: …
mind: You have got to stop carrying on this way. I can’t take your bouts of sadness. Really, it’s depressing. And you know that the mind can only endure so much.
heart: This isn’t about you. It’s about her. She’s sad. I can’t help but feel it in my deepest chambers.
mind: I’m going to force you to stop agonizing over things that are out of her, your, and my control. What’s done is done. Que sera, sera. Get over it.
heart: …Get over it? It’s your job to get over it. It’s my job to feel it. And right now, I’m feeling it. I’m swelling with pain. What do they call it, again? When this happens to me? Right. Heartbroken. How fitting an adjective. I don’t hear anyone saying mindbroken. Are you mindbroken, my dear companion?
mind: The mind is never broken. Confused, perhaps, or weary, but never broken. I am not a bone, and neither are you. Get it together. This, too, shall pass.
heart: Fine. Then she’s heart torn. Heart shredded. Heart–
mind: Please, stop being so pathetic. And miserable. What you feel causes me to have distracting thoughts. I can’t help her sleep, or work, or function like the normal human being she’s struggling to be. Because of you, I have an overload of thoughts flurrying about. You aren’t helping the situation.
heart: It’s not my job to make your life easier. It’s my job to represent her emotions to the best of my ability. And I feel for her. Deeply. She’s hurt in a way I’ve never seen. How are you going to clear her head so she can stop feeling my woes?
mind: Maybe if you’d concentrate on getting oxygen to the rest of the body, I could sort something out. Just relax. I’m going to find a solution. I’ve got to block you out now, Heart. I’m sorry, but feeling emotions is only making it worse for her. I’ve got to keep her rational.
heart: Block me out? You think blocking me out is the answer?! She needs me! She needs to remember what it’s like to smile, laugh, and cry! I won’t let you turn her into a heartless sap!
mind: What choice do you have? It is my call. I’m the decision maker. And I say, from now on she will focus only on what’s important. Crying herself to sleep every other night doesn’t do her any good. I must save her from you. She has plenty of work to get done and I won’t allow her to fall behind–
heart: There’s no way. I won’t allow it. She needs me. She wants me. She’s sad now, but it will pass. I will help her through this. Not you. You will only make her numb.
mind: How about you come off her sleeve and jump back in her chest where you belong. It’s because of your ignorance that she’s wounded in the first place.
heart: This isn’t over, Mind. I won’t let you take away her sensitivity to life.
mind: Just keep pumping red liquids, Heart. Leave the hard stuff to me.

inner conversations: part two

rozm!chelle — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 20:27:00 +0000

heart: it’s all your fault.
mind: …i pray that you aren’t actually blaming me so early in the morning.
heart: you are the one who gave her a headache in the middle of the night.
mind: i had nothing to do with it. trust me, it affected me before it affected you.
heart: well, all i know is that she took 2 red pills and i’m sure you had a part in it.
mind: …it’s called aspirin. and seeing as to how this bodily fluid is your lifeline, i guess i’d have you to blame if she somehow happens to cut herself and is unable to clot properly. that would be an open wound with your name written all over it.
heart: you cannot blame me for that. blame the aspirin. that is the man-made substance that you should direct your accusations toward. i’m merely the victim here.
mind: and i suppose that i shouldn’t even think of her as the victim because it’s all about you. Heart, Heart, Heart. it’s all about Heart.
heart: of course not. it’s just that whatever she is a victim of, i feel the results and become a victim too.
mind: so what you are essentially saying is that you are a victim by default. a derivative of a victim. 20% of a victim, after you rule out the other body parts that the emotions she suffers from must travel through before it gets to you.
heart: i’m no partial victim! everything she feels, i feel it fully, if not more so! i’m the one who hurts for her! all you do is think about the pain she experiences. i’m the one who has to endure it!
mind: save it. pain is simply weakness leaving the body. maybe i should hope for her injury so that you’d be pained to the point of leaving her completely. that way, she’d be sane without the hindrance of a whining chamber.
heart: how can you wish injury upon her?! she is everything that matters to me, and you should feel the same way. how could you say such a thing! i will call Soul on you and trust me, that is not someone you want to debate with under these–
mind: don’t you dare. Soul needs not interfere with these matters. Jeez, Heart, you really need to relax. You are turning even redder in the face.
heart: i hope you know that i intend to put you in your place. i won’t have you making threats about her. she’s such an important part of my world.
mind: and of mine too. what makes you think i don’t care about her? i think she’s wonderful. she doesn’t make a nutcase out of me like most other people do to their Minds.
heart: i love her. do you love her?
mind: …love is such a…a strong word. i am satisfied with her. complacent to completion. nothing more, nothing less. she doesn’t drive me crazy, although she always keeps me busy. but i have no reason to complain. and stop claiming her as if she’s your own.
heart: the strongest emotions can be summed up in one word or none at all. if it’s not love, then don’t call it anything.
mind: that, my throbbing friend, is a conversation for another day. she’s about to take a test. she’ll be needing me now.

inner conversations: part one

rozm!chelle — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 00:45:00 +0000

heart: i can’t believe you really think that you control everything.
mind: what do you mean? i run these parts. i am her thinking engine.
heart: i’d like to see how that matters. she can’t live without a pulse. i provide her with that. there’s no getting around it.
mind: and so what? she may have blood flow, but without me, she’d have no thoughts. no opinions. she’d simply be a sensitive vegetable. would you want to be the heart of a vegetable? i think that would be a science project on evolution worth sharing.
heart: nonsense. truly you don’t think she’s better off without me. i move her through every emotion in life.
mind: so then it is you i must hold responsible for her tirades and tears. thought those were somehow side-effects of her construction. i will curse you the next time some outside force causes you to create an emotion i don’t need to entertain on an otherwise pleasant day.
heart: don’t poke fun at me. i give her a reason to feel. is there something so wrong with feeling things? she has the ability to express herself with me. and what do you do, let her think about art and science and other worldly things?
mind: yes! that is precisely what i do: give her the opportunity to think about whatever she likes. and no, there is nothing wrong with feeling. i’m simply saying that there’s no reason for it.
heart: so are you saying that she doesn’t deserve to be happy? to follow whatever her heart desires? because i’m confused here. please make up your mind about what you are saying.
mind: naturally you are confused. it’s not like you think much. yes, she deserves to be happy, but i can’t stand when she dwells on the negative things. you are nothing more than a nuissance. is beating the only thing you do well?
heart: i think i am sensing signs of frustration. isn’t that an emotion? are you sure that you are a mind? sounds like you are having an identity crisis. it’s okay. embrace your emotions. love your–
mind: don’t push it. that was called sarcasm, not frustration. i’d expect you to know that…if only you knew how to think rationally. but then again, that’s my job. you decide what she wants in life. i figure out how to get them. without me, there’s no end.
heart:you are just upset because you know that she needs me to live. without me, she’d be thoughts with no compassion. insensitive to the world. what kind of human would that create?
mind: a normal one.
heart: …a lacking one.
mind: that is not up to you decide. you just sit there and pump your sappy liquids. i’ll handle the difficult things.
heart: i truly do feel for you. one day, i pray you’ll understand my importance. now hush up. she’s waking.