I have a theory that every man who is not a relative in a woman’s life can be classified into one of five categories. They are in order of emotional commitment, with the last category being the most crucial:
1. The associate.
2. The friend.
3. The lover (AKA the Jump-off; take your pick).
4. The Best Friend.
5. The boyfriend.
ONE. The associate is someone that a woman says hello to when she passes him on the street. She may be pleased by his presence, but she forgets him the moment after. He is sometimes amusing, sometimes annoying, and sometimes an asshole. He is the man she may want to get to know more, or maybe she doesn’t want a damn thing to do with him. He may even try to holla on occasion, but can one blame him? After all, women are the foundation of God’s green earth. Why WOULDN’T he strive for such?
TWO. The “Friend” doesn’t really exist, but it’s nice to pretend that he does. See, all men want something. (It’s a golden rule and should be printed in everything a woman reads and grafittied on every wall in the country.) Had most women known this before that first date/kiss/dick, she probably would have reduced her chances of heartbreak/anger/disappointment. But alas, he exists as a “Friend” so that women can know he’s after something. It is up to women to find out exactly what it is.
THREE. The lover/Jump-off is the dude that a female can call on when she is in need of temporary satisfaction. The foundation of the relationship is intimacy, lust in its most simplistic form. There is rarely any emotional commitment. No “How was your day?”s or “Do you want to talk about it?”s. Her concern is strictly what is hidden by a pair of denim jeans and boxers. This relationship is strictly sexual. Now sadly, sometimes one of the lovers catches feelings all of a sudden, as if they wake up in the midst of an epiphany that tells them “You know, the sex is good, but MAYBE he/she has more to offer…”, in which case the lover becomes wedged between the familiar sexual relationship and the anticipation of “something more.”
FOUR. The Best Friend is that nigga. He’s the man of the dream that a woman hasn’t dreamed yet. He is everything she needs emotionally from a man, minus the intimacy and the committment. He may even be the perfect match for her, but she should be careful. Friendship may be the best thing for them. He is the shoulder she leans on, the chest she rests on, the ear she can lock all her secrets safely in. She may sometimes look at him and think to herself, “damn, he’s pretty fly,” and may on occasion want to test the limits of the friendship. But do not (and I repeat, do NOT) get sexual with the man because it will only complicate things in the end. The ONLY time the best friend and the lover combine is when you are in an actual RELATIONSHIP…which leads to my next and final category, the ultimate satisfaction:
…FIVE…The boyfriend. This is the man who, ideally, completes you. You can see yourself with him in the future, which says a lot. He is your soulmate. And if you CAN’T see yourself with him in the future, then quit the crap and stop lying to yourself because you clearly must be with the man because you are bored (which makes you the pathetic one), horny (which means you need to make him the Jump-off and save yourself the emotional commitment), or lonely (which means you need to work on loving your own company, and fast). The boyfriend should be the man who can one day evolve into the fiance, the husband, the father of your children…you get the idea. If you can’t see that, then damn. Stop wasting your time.
Now some of you may be wondering where other titles fit in; for example, what happens to the men that women date, or the ex-boyfriends? Well, these are what I call in-betweens. The New Interest starts off as an associate. You don’t know the nigga from Adam anyway, so don’t get ahead of yourself. Remember that he has to work himself up to friend status before anything else (INCLUDING sex). Once you are friends, THEN he has the opportunity to pursue a serious relationship with you. Thus he is temporarily stuck between The Friend and The Boyfriend (or maybe between The Friend and the Jump-off, depending on what you decide his best assets are). But remember that it is up to the woman to decide where he fits, if he even fits at all. He may get dropped out the cycle all together and placed in the categories that need not be mentioned: The Stranger/Stalker/Non-existent Nigga That No Longer Has A Name.
…But that’s another story 
As for the ex…if he’s lucky, he may get reduced to Associate status, in which case he better be thankful to have that position. It’s a demotion, but somewhere on your emotional rank of men nevertheless. He better take it and run with it.
Similarly, women can be categorized in such a fashion. But I’ll leave that up to the masses to do 