Daily Doses of Bullshit.

CANCER Horoscope for today: "Don't be afraid to be picky about the people with whom you are spending time. So much can be established with like-minded individuals. Put time aside to have a little fun."

...according to horoscope.com. I mean, I am cool with the whole astrology thing, but who comes up with this shit? Do people sit at their computers from 9 to 5 and write random shit so that thousands of lost souls can find a random sentence or two about how to lead their lives for the next twenty-four hours? ...Not that I'm a lost soul, 'cause I'm not. I just...you know...check my horoscope on occasion.

So it tells me I shouldn't be afraid to be picky about the people I spend time with. Okay, so tell me something new. I am picky 'bout who I even so much as LOOK at on a daily basis. Telling me this now makes this statement a few years too late. Really, I think the entire horoscope is shitty. And fun? What makes you think I even have TIME for fun?! Tell me that after 20 credits, a job, two e-board positions and a jacked-up social life that needs some serious revision. Then maybe you'll see how much time I have left for "fun".

Let's look at another horoscope, compliments of horoscopes.com:

"Take time for both. Today you'll have dual needs. On one hand, you'll want to take part in social activities. And at the same time, you'll need some time alone. Fortunately, you can and should do both! Today plan time with others, and also try to find someplace quiet where you can spend an hour alone."

...NO, I do NOT want to take part in social activities! In fact, I do all I can in order to avoid them! Now, the "some time alone part" is correct...every damn day. I would die without my alone time. So once again, find something more constructive to say rather than telling me something that applies to every day of my life. How about writing something that actually is specific to my Wednesday, November 30th? *sigh*. Astrology-infested idiots. And plan time with whom, exactly? Who on earth would I want to spend time with at this damn university? The people here fall into one of three categories. Those who scare me, those who annoy me, and those who I don't pay attention to because I'm sure they ain't worth my time anydamnway.

Thus, I conclude this entry with my affirmation that writers of horoscopes are full of shit. And for those of you who are currently mentally screaming at me with something that resembles "No! But they are accurate! I check mine all the time!" ...Then your dumbass either stretched their words in order for it to fit your pathetic existence, or it was merely a COINCIDENCE.

Sorry to burst your bubble. But such is life.

*Bitch* Redefined.

1. bitch n : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman

2. bitch vb : complain

[Definition compliments of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary.]

If you need to hear it from me, maybe because it was spreading through some rumor-infested vine or because you saw certain actions of mine that made you think this is true, then yes. I am mad at men. And I don't have a problem with it either.

Now, I do not like calling myself an *Angry Black Bitch* because I'd like to think that the only word in that title of three that actually describes me a hundred percent of the time is the word "Black." Other than that, I'd say I'm only Angry in the middle and a Bitch when the role fits. Allow me to elaborate.

If you fuck around and do something STUPID (which every man does in his life at least ONCE to every woman he encounters), then yes. You will most likely get a reaction out of me. See, it only takes ONE stupid mo-fo to mess it up for a woman. But I am a special case. Because I have had several stupid mo-fos enter my universe and throw off my balance on more than one occasion. Thus, I am a little more *bitter* about sh!t than other people. Most times, if I've experienced enough stupidity in one day, all the anger that I try to keep harbored in my middle just creeps out sometimes in the form of violent lashbacks; sometimes a few cursewords here and there, but I only use them when emphasizing what an idiot you are. Think of it more as...constructive criticism. I am not a mean girl. Thus, me telling you about yourself is not a mean act. It is merely me considering your need for improvement rather than biting my tongue and preventing you from hearing what an idiot you are and how you can better yourself. Really, you should thank me if you happen to experience one of my tirades. It will only make you a better person in the end.

Now, as for the aforementioned definition of the word *Bitch*...Interesting, isn't it? Kind of harsh even. I must disagree with Merriam-Webster. I am in no way malicious. Angry, yes, because of past experiences, but not malicious. I wouldn't do anything to hurt a man just because he has hurt me, and certainly wouldn't hurt someone who hasn't hurt me (rather, who hasn't hurt me yet, because they always fuck things up in the end) just because some other idiot before him messed it up for everyone else. And spiteful? Overbearing? Why a bitch gotta be all of that?! I mean, why is it that everytime a woman speaks her mind (in a loud and violent way perhaps...but this is not the point), she is called a bitch for doing so?

Now all that the men of the world have to do is stop themselves from pissing me off. And really, it's not that hard. I only have a few rules (few being a relative term, of course).

1. Think before you speak. DAMN. Sooo self-explanatory. If you'd just do this, you wouldn't have to worry about me rolling my eyes or yelling at you because even you failed to comprehend what you were saying.

2. Actions DO speak louder than words. If you say you are going to do something, do it. And I have a damn good memory. Don't think I'll forget that you said you were going to do This but ended up doing some watered-down derivative of That instead.

3. Don't lie. We see through that sh!t. And the few times we don't catch your dumbass lying, it's merely because we were still analyzing the possibility of you lying in another situation...and don't think we forgot about it either.

4. Don't call us bitches. Whether we fit the definition or not, is it NOT and never has been your place to call us such. Penalty is a slap, a curseout, and/or the occasional neck-twist for emphasis. If we are angry, it's probably because YOU made us that way. So find out what you did wrong, and fix it.

5. WE DO NOT COMPLAIN. (note the definition of *bitch*, the verb, at the top). We are merely speaking our minds. We should NOT have to play your mother and clean up after you and tell you every time you make a mistake. You KNOW when you are wrong, so stop acting stupid. Learn to wipe your own ass for a change. And stop telling us we whine too much, because it's probably something you are doing that is making us react that way.

6. Stop trying to be a *man* about everything. Chances are, you are making yourself look like more of a fool in the process. If you were a man, you wouldn't have to try to be one in the first place. The qualities would just shine through you naturally...some have it, some don't. Ooops; maybe you just aren't one of them.

7. You are wrong; we are right. This is perhaps the golden rule of the bunch. We are superior to you in all things intellectual, moral, and in any way significant. Thus, if you ever come across those numerous times where you second-guess yourself, then just stop the headache right away and admit that you are wrong. Forfeit and accept your defeat. The world will be a happier, prettier place.

8. Get a Clue. The world does not and never did revolve around your conceited ass. Don't nobody love you that much anyway, besides yourself. So really, stop acting like you are God's gift to women, because I'm sure you can't hold up an intelligent convo, don't know the meaning of *continuous* romance, and probably aren't that good in bed any damn way. So step ya game up before you step to something Classy.

So there it is. 8 Golden Rules. Just follow these, and show us love, respect, and interest, and you'll be fine. Just stop messing up so much. It really makes your entire sex look bad.

On THAT note, I think i've spoken my mind for the day. And what a day it's been.

The Introduction.

Before I start my general ranting, I feel the need to clarify some things. After all, this blog is a twisted attempt for me to vent, although by default I will have friends as well as strangers trying to analyze me in the process.

Point 1. I am not here to entertain you. But if I happen to get a giggle out of you in the process, then fine. But I am not an entertainer; I am a student. Thus, I am one third stressed, one third broke, and one third in need of writing therapeutic posts so that I can find peace of mind from knowing that I at least got it all out somehow. Either way, just keep in mind that my objective is not to make you happy...it is simply to make myself feel better in the process.

Point 2. Although it is not my job to entertain you, I would like to know if I have had some sort of effect on you (whether it be spiritually, emotionally...choose your inspiration). With that said, this is the opportune time to mention the comments section. Yes. It is there for a reason; use it. But only if you have a *constructive* opinion. I'm not asking that you tell me how much you love me; you can hate my opinions and that would be just fine. I just want to know who feels what and why. That way, people can comment on my randomness and/or stupidity and I can sleep well at night knowing that I dragged an emotion out of someone.

Point 3. No, I'm not your damn psychologist. I am not here to psychoanalyze your problems, nor am I here to make you feel better 'bout your sh!t. This here is all about ME. Not being selfish; you must simply understand, this is MY blog. You want to vent? Get ya own blog. Trust me, it will make you feel SO much better.

Point 4. There WILL be times when I will write 'bout people. And a particular post just might be about you. But just know that I will never mention names, although I may nickname you something evil on occasion. But the nickname will only be as evil as whatever it is that you did to piss me off in the first place. But hey, I can only keep it real, and if I happen to write a couple paragraphs about why you are such an asshole, then just read it and build a bridge...you know the rest.

Point 5. This is not a stable blog. Most of the times, it will be emotional, sarcastic, border-line pessimistic, depending on the time of the month and the mood of the hour. I am a cancer. Thus, at any given moment, my emotions are subject to alteration at the drop of a dime. This is a warning. This way, I won't get comments from people asking why the mood changes with every post. My zodiac sign should make this self-explanatory.

Point 6. I am person, believe it or not. Yes, I actually exist. I am not a faceless blogger [blog-ger: n. One who indulges in the act of blogging to the point of uncontrollable obsession]. I have a life. It isn't picture perfect or squeaky clean, which is why i have this blog in the first place: so that I can write about how fucked up life is while praising it at the same time. On this note, please do not get mad if I forget to add a post on a particular day...this ain't my day job. You plan on paying me for writing all this? ...Didn't think so.

Point 7. No, you do NOT know me. Unless you are one of the three (yes, three) people in my universe who actually DO *know* me, then don't assume that because you read a post or two of mine that you can dissect me or jump into my head...because it just won't work. But feel free to try; I'm sure you'll enjoy the free headache.

On that note, I will leave you all with the blog pick of the day. It belongs to Liz, 'cause she is the reason I created my blog in such haste in the first place. So if you end up hating what I write, blame its creation on her. 8) http://cheetarah1980.blogspot.com.